AITA for telling a friend she had an STI when she asked?
Picture this: you’re a badass female doctor who’s become best buds with her barber because you both love shiny clippers and the sound of hair cutting in the early morning. One night, over greasy pizza and a few beers at a loud gastropub, your barber (who happens to be a woman in her twenties, sexually active, and currently nursing a mysterious pelvic ache) asks you, “Doc, what do you think might be going on with my pelvic pain? The urgent care told me I had a ‘pelvic infection’ and gave me a shot in the butt.”
You, in true “medical school test question” mode, instantly diagnose her with pelvic inflammatory disease caused by a classic STI—gonorrhea, chlamydia, or even syphilis. She laughs, says the guy she’s seeing might be cheating, and you all enjoy the rest of the night.
A few weeks later, you’re trying to solidify that budding friendship with a casual hangout. She keeps canceling. You finally book a haircut appointment. She cancels again—this time citing that your “STI diagnosis in a crowded restaurant left me feeling pretty uncomfortable.” You’re blindsided, apologize, explain it was a quiet conversation, and try to salvage the friendship.
The moral of the story? You were technically answering a question she asked, but the delivery (and the content) might have been a little… too professional.
TL;DR
A doc gives a friend an STI diagnosis in a noisy bar. Friend feels uncomfortable, cancels the haircut, and you’re left wondering if you should’ve just said, “See a doctor.” The comments say: NTA, you were just following medical etiquette.
NTA. She's absolutely embarrassed by this, is taking out her feelings on you - a classic “shoot the messenger” scenario - and you've probably lost the friendship, so move on.
Also, take this as a lesson. You got a case of doctoritis and gave a professional opinion to a friend, when your answer should have been to tell her to ask her own physician. Medical ethics tell doctors to avoid giving medical advice or opinions to friends and family for this very reason.
Also you don't expect your friend to give you a quick haircut in the restaurant while you are waiting for your lunch 'as a friend service', and she should also respect you don't work while you're meeting with friends.
NTA. She literally asked.
Jesus what a child she is. She asked a doctor for an armchair Monday morning quarterback diagnosis of what even I fucking know was likely an STI! She’s embarrassed and making you the problem. You’re not. At all. I would never tell a friend about a medical problem that was probably embarrassing, what the fuck did she think it was?! Jesus Christ on a motorbike. Nta
Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. NTA for giving an honest answer.